How to see Deer

co-written by Allison&Charlotte


* * *

Forget roadside crossings

Go nowhere with guns

Go elsewhere your own way

Lonely and wanting.

Again, Jessica found herself standing in the center of a forest where the fog in there made her could hardly see faint but a vague shape of an animal in the distance. 

   “Come here, come closer to me,” she muttered eagerly to the animal and tried to see it clearly through the heavy mist suffused in the dense forest. The animal seemed to respond to her and turned its head as she wished. With bated breath, she stared at that shadowy figure, feeling a growing tenseness and expectancy. It was just then the fog that gathered around the animal became thicker and Jessica felt her soul was forcibly pulled back to the reality.

   When she awoke, daylight was streaming in through windows. Jessica lied on her bed until her eyes and mind adjusted. It must be a deer, she thought. Even she herself didn't know why she was so obsessed with the animal appeared for several times in her dreams. A strong desire was prompting her to try to see it clearly, just like a kid craving for chocolate. 

   The clock alarmed and reminded Jessica to get up. After the breakfast, she took out her phone and checked the calendar. She recently signed up for a painting competition which would soon begin in one and a half month. It wasn't her original intention to enter but her parents' request. Jessica remembered she had for some time been interested in drawing when she was a kid, but the passion didn't last for so long since her parents had found a teacher for her. She felt herself like a caged bird.

   Jessica signed, sat down and took out her pencil case. A lemon candy rolled out from the case and she hurriedly pick it up, put it carefully on her desk. 

   This lemon candy reminded her of the time when she was having PE class. Because of anaemia, the teacher let her sit down on a bench to take a rest. Her head was a little dizzy. She even thought she heard the hallucinated voice as real when she heard a voice of a boy with care.

   " Are you ok?" The boy asked.

   Jessica shook her head and looked up at that boy based on the curiosity. Then she felt her heart flipped. The boy looked handsome and the most things that impressed Jessica were his brilliant green eyes as emeralds. His eyes almost can make a girl fall in love immediately, she thought. Then she was surprised to see the boy took out two candies from his pocket and gave them to her.

   "Girls should pay more attention to rest." He smiled.

   When Jessica came to herself, the boy had left for some time. The organ in her chest was beating very fast and she could be sure that her face must be flushed. She felt chagrined at herself for not expressing her thanks to him. Jessica unwrapped a candy wrapper and swirled the candy around her mouth, feeling the spread of the sweetness in her mouth and to her heart.

    Since that day, Jessica kept prying into the information about the boy she met and she heard some from her bestie, Noora. The boy's name was Even and was her senior. His grades generally stayed ahead of the other peers and he was the chairman of student union. 


Sunrise is good

and fog before sun

Expect nothing always

find your luck slowly

wait out the windfall

take your good time

to learn to read ferns

Jessica does loves reading, she just couldn’t understand why people can spend over 6 hours sitting there even without moving. She was reading those reference books for her projects and wished for finish her work as soon as possible. But when Even came into the entrance, she changed her mind. Now she could stay there for one day. 

   “That’s why you borrowed every book Even had borrowed from the library?” Noora asked.

   “I just want to know more about his interest!” Jessica explained.

   “Whatever, it must be magic of love.” Noora sighed. 


“Considering of your tough path on chasing Even,” Noora said to her on their way to library “I have a surprise for you.”

   “What is that, eh?” Jessica replied curiously.

   “Well, student union are finding a people who can help with designing the Christmas stage. My friend asked me whether I have an appropriate people to recommend. I gave your phone number to them. Plus, Even is in charge of designing part.” Noora said.

   A great opportunity to get closer with Even. Jessica’s spirit went up.

   After two days, the members from student union contacted Jessica formally and then she enrolled in student union. She marked on her imaged calendar everyday and waiting for the coming of the agreed day with excitement.

   The way that Jessica met with Even was a little bit different from what she thought. They stood in her classroom. It was a little embarrassed, she thought. 

   Even broke the ice “Hey, glad to meet you. We’ll work together for next week. Hopefully we can enjoy it.” Then he started his speech on his idea.

   What a nice official rhetoric. Jessica thought. Fortunately, they went smoothly after that awkward beginning. Sometimes they chatted. Jessica found Even was not as inhospitably as he seemed. Even was actually a humours and genius guy. 

“You must have a girlfriend right? Our chairman is so charismatic.” Jessica asked, trying to conceal her purpose. 

   “Then sorry for letting you down, I don't have a relationship. At least not for now.” Even chuckled,“Let’s say, if I had a girlfriend, she would go crazy now.”

   “Why are you saying that”Jessica asked.

   “How could she torrent her boyfriend spent his spare time with another girl? Though we’re in purpose of working.” Even laughed.

   Jessica couldn’t talk back anymore. That was a sweet trap. If only you said the first half segment, at least you can leave me some space to imagine, imagining that you have the same feeling on me, but you don’t. You’re always so careful and that really hurts. she thought.

   Excepted for this small interlude, everything went quite well. There were no quarrel during cooperation. Both of them were satisfy with their final design. Moreover, they enjoyed the time chatting with each other. 

   On the other side, the painting competition was still ongoing, but she couldn't come up with any ideas. 


When Even invited Jessica buying materials on weekends, she had just accepted going to Monet’s Exhibition with her teacher. However, receiving the call from Even brought her such a great excitement and shock. Thus, when Jessica took a while to collect herself, she had already accepted Even. 

  That night, she dreamed that deer once again. She was running in the forest and trying to get closer to that deer. Jessica almost succeed. When she came along with the deer, it ran away.

  The sun was blazing down on the city from enormous cloudless sky on Saturday. Jessica woke up extremely early and took the subway. Her mood was delightful and she was looking out of the window. Her phone was buzzing but she ignored it. She arrived at meeting place a little earlier. Jessica was a bit nervous, she kept asking herself “Did my hair get mess? Do I look all right?” But half an hour later, Even still didn't appear. Jessica then realised she’d better check her phone. There were 5 missed calls from Even and 1 message at the top. 

   “I felt really sorry and I apologise that I got something to tackle suddenly this morning so that I can’t buy material with you. I had sent the shopping list to you and I’ll pay for the cost. Come to see me on Monday. Again, I’m really sorry”

   “Hmm, it doesn't matter. I can do it by myself. Don't worry.” Jessica typed. She knew grievances shouldn't be camouflaged. Nevertheless, she didn't want Even thought she was a narrow person, so she just let her unaired grievances turning sour in her mouth. 

   Since Even said the materials were due on Monday, Jessica took a deep breath, adjusting herself and took her first step. Buying materials were going on wheels. By the end of the day, Jessica was attracted by a shop which offers hand painted mugs. She couldn’t stop thinking about the image that Even is using mug which has her drawings on it. Therefore, she bought one mug without thinking twice. She was pretty sure that Even would love this small gift with her own drawing on it. 

   She was wrong. When she met Even on Monday, it seemed like nothing had happened. Even paid the money for materials and he seems as indifferent as before. He rejected the small mug from her politely but Jessica sticked to give gift to him. The next day, Jessica found that mug lying on her drawer silently.

  Something had changed, Jessica couldn't tell.


You've come to assume

protective color; now

colors reform to

new shape in your eye

you've learned by now

to wait without waiting

Jessica's mood was blacker than ever even when she came back home. When her parents asked again about her recent study period and preparations for the competition, she lost her temper.

   "You always want me to be the best but never care about my feelings!" She exclaimed, rushed into her bedroom and locked the door. Her strength seemed to drain away after she had done these and the tears were streaming so fast she couldn't see. The mood recalled all of the efforts she had done to test Even's feelings for her. Every time when she wanted to be a little closer to him, she felt the distance between them and could never be across. Jessica felt herself like a ridiculous fool who believed they might be more than this and always was disappointed by the results.

   "Why I am so persistent about yearning those unreachable things?" She said in a whisper, sniffed and dried her eyes.

   Felt little hesitation, she took out the candy from the pencil-box and threw it into a trash can.

   Since then, Jessica tried to limit herself. She didn’t go to library anymore, nor the student union. Let alone chatting with Even. She controlled everything she could, but she couldn’t control her feeling. Sometimes, when she took P.E. class, she couldn’t help thinking about the first time she met Even. If time could stop at that moment when they first met. 


Even felt strange these days. He thought the mug was the beginning of all things. Jessica was a friend to him, he respected that girl. But he felt disturbing because of that gift. It was he who made Jessica stand up. How could she sent gift, that personally painted mug, to him? He wanted to give a call and ask what she meant, but he was afraid. Even didn’t know what he is fearing. Her great kindness baffled him, Even lost sleep that night. The next day, he went to school extreme early and put that mug inside Jessica’s drawer. 

   Since then, Even felt like there was something missing. He couldn't tell what it was but it continuously affected him. He could not claim down and be concentrate. Therefore, he went to library and picked some books he once borrowed. When he filled out the borrowing card, he found Jessica’s name was just under his. He opened all other books he had borrowed. Without exception, there was her name under all of his borrowed books. He suddenly understood what he was fearing and what was missing recently. He was afraid that he misunderstand Jessica’s feeling; He was afraid that Jessica treated everyone equally and he was not that exception; and he lost contact with Jessica recently. He finally realised his feeling on Jessica.


Things even out. Be

careless of nothing. See

what you see

   Jessica had not dreamed of that forest for a long time, so it was astonishing indeed when she saw  the familiar scenes in her dream. The mist in the forest was slowly fading and she saw the rising sun casting a golden glow over the forest. At that moment, she felt there was something standing behind her closely. Based on curiosity, Jessica turned around and waited until the fog dispersed. It was the deer. That big, wild, beautiful eight-point deer which she had always wanted to see. Its sleek body was gleaming in the sunlight and it had a pair of eyes, which sparkled with the brightest and innocence. Jessica held out her hand unconsciously to the deer and looked straight at the deer with a little anticipation. This time the deer didn't run away. It walked towards Jessica meekly until she could touch its beauty shining fur. She fought down her excitement and her eyes were eagerly taking in every thing of the deer within her reach.

   Suddenly, she felt someone was patted her on the shoulder and startled her from the dream. It was Noora who gave her a mysterious smile.

   "Well, your prince is looking for you, little princess," Noora beckoned her to look to the door of the classroom.

   Jessica looked up and saw Even who was leaning upon the door. When their eyes met with each other, Even gave her a shining smile and held up a small bag of lemon candies. Jessica felt her heart race uncontrollably again, just like when she first met him.


  One month later, the results of the painting competition came out. Jessica got the first prize without any doubt. According to others, the most attractive part of her painting was a beautiful deer, with a shimmering fur and a pair of mysterious eyes that kept mild light in them...


其实是看了王喻的怎样看见鹿引起的灵感 参杂了各种私心 写出来的

第一次合写也是第一次写的short story 发出来纪念一下~

ps 共计2351个字 望老师安好。。

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